Microbe of the Month, March 2002
By Roger P. Freeman, DDS
Dateline: Urban Tora Bori, India, Africa, Asia.
Dear ICTees,
Alas, if some people have their way, this could be one of my last transmissions. Things are not going well for me. It just doesn't seem fair...so many folks piling it on: WHO, UNICEF, even the Rotarians! Everyone's out to "e" me into oblivion alongside the greatest, the one and only, my variolar scourgemate.
Things were going great for me in the first 54 of the 20th century. Lots of serious epidemics... swimming pools, parent panic, poster children. Then came 1955, then '62. The "V" word. And S x 2. Who were those guys, anyway? To make matters worse, in 1988 a bunch of future dot.orgs decided to full-court press me out of the kripple-kids biz, targeting 2000 for the global gangledopper. Thought I might end-run the campaign, sneak in a few ringers... but the CDC caught on and now recommends the pointy V instead of the sugar cube. Just because the S model was made with live relatives, leaving eight statesiders infected in '00, instead of protected. Picky, picky!
No more tiny tummies, node knobbing, or sometimes (less than 1/100), a CNS bulls-eye. I must be from Mars, 'cause I'm basically a motor thing and don't have much of a sensitive side. Flaccid's not an attractive concept in any case, but combine it with a paralysis analysis, an early viral count, and ...as Sonny once said, "You got me, babe."
Looking on my bright side, the vaccine vigilantes will have a big job "mopping" me up in every single nook and fanny out there. (I behave like an entervirus, so that's important!) I last visited the states in '79, Haiti and Dominican Republic in 2000, and now I have to lurk around in the world's Club Dreads... war-torn, isolated, inaccessible. Considering my travel itinerary, the troops will need a legion of elephants, camels, and helicopters--and an army of volunteers--to score a perfect 100% of little ones under age 5. Target date for lights-out has already been pushed back to 2005, so I'm worried, but not ready to hang up my RNA just yet. Name me, my disease, and the two guys you owe big-time for the beginning of my end!
Roger P. Freeman, DDS, is a dental infection control consultant and president of Infectious Awareables at www.iawareables.com.
The answers to last month's mystery microbe are: Streptococcus pneumoniae; AOM (acute otitis media), CAP (community acquired pneumonia), HAP (hospital acquired pneumonia), and DRSP (drug-resistant Streptococcus pneumoniae).
